Assorted Rambling

I couldn’t help but notice an overwhelming amount of statuses this Christmas, about being lonely, so I figured I’d throw some of my thoughts at the subject. Being lonely has less to do with whether you are single or in a relationship, and more to do with your actual emotion support system. Yes, you can be in a relationship, and surrounded by family and friends, and still feel twinges of loneliness. It’s not about physical presence… It is about emotional support. It’s about who really knows you, who really cares about you, who reaches out, who’s there when you’re in need of a smile, and having your spirits lifted. A lot of people are in relationships, feeling misunderstood, or disconnected. A lot of people are surrounded by tons of “friends”, none truly close, or knowing their true colors. A lot of people gather with family for a holiday, and are all awkwarded out, because of lack of communicating the other 364 days a year. There are single people who dont feel lonely at all. They feel connected and fulfilled through their friends or family, even though they’re not in relationships. And there are people in relationships, feeling empty and lonely. Everyone perceives the word differently; but i can assure you, not everyone in company feels accompanied, and not everyone who is alone, feels lonely.

She’s staring at me, I’m sitting wondering what she’s thinking
Nobody’s talking, cause’ talking just turns into screaming, And now as I’m yelling over her, she yelling over me,
all that that means is neither of us are listening, and what’s even worse, that we don’t even remember why we’re fighting.

So both of us are mad for nothing fighting for,nothing, crying for,nothing.

When we won’t let it go for nothing, come back for,nothing, it should be nothing to a love like what we got

oh baby..
I know sometimes it’s gonna rain,
But baby can we make up now
cause’ I can’t sleep through the pain..
girl I don’t want to go to bed, mad at you and I don’t want you to go to bed, mad at me
no I don’t want to go to bed mad at you
and I don’t want you to go to bed, mad at me, oh nooo.

And it gets me upset girl when you’re constantly accusing, asking questions like you already know.
We’re fighting this war, but baby both of us are losing, this ain’t the way that love is supposed to go. What happened to working it out?
We fall into this place where you ain’t backing down, and I ain’t backing down, so what the hell do we do now?

So both of us are mad for nothing, fighting for, nothing, crying for, nothing…

When we won’t let it go for nothing,
nothing, it should be nothing
to a love like what we got

oh baby..
I know sometimes it’s gonna rain,
But baby can we make up now
cause’ I can’t sleep through the pain,
girl I don’t want to go to bed mad at you and I don’t want you to go to bed, mad at me. No I don’t want to go to bed mad at you
and I don’t want you to go to bed, mad at me..

Oh baby this love ain’t gone be perfect,
And just how good it’s gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight long as everything is alright between us before we go to sleep…

Baby we’re gonna be…

Happy…. Baby….

Baby I know sometimes it’s gonna rain,
But baby can we make up now
cause’ I can’t sleep through the pain
girl I don’t want to go to bed mad at you
and I don’t want you to go to bed, mad at me
no I don’t want to go to bed mad at you
and I don’t want you to go to bed, mad at me, oh no, no.

-Ne-Yo

“I realized right then and there, in that hallway, that I wanted no other… I became the man she needed me to be because she had sense enough to have requirements-standards that she needed in her relationship in order to make the relationship work for her. She knew she wanted a monogamous relationship-a partnership with a man who wanted to be a dedicated husband and father. She also knew this man had to be faithful, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. On a smaller scale she also made it clear that she expected to be treated like a lady at every turn-I’m talking opening car doors for her, pulling out her seat when she’s ready to sit at the table, coming correct on anniversary, Mother’s Day, and birthday gifts, keeping the foul talk to a minimum. These requirements are important to her because they lay out a virtual map of what I need to do to make sure she gets what she needs and wants. After all, it’s universal knowledge that when mama is happy, everybody is happy. And it is my sole mission in life to make sure Marjorie is happy.”

— Steve Harvey (Act Like a Lady, Think like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy,and Commitment.

Great excerpt from a book I recently read. If the above paragraph seems foreign to you, then you are a boy, and this is not for you. Men……………………..ladies………………

It really shouldn’t be so hard. In fact, it should be natural.What you do, how you treat your lady, will make her day or ruin it. What you say, how you say it, and why you say it, likewise, why you’re distant, or why you’re quiet- will affect her. Whether it matters to you what her hopes, dreams, and goals are. Whether you believe in her. Whether her feelings are important to you. Whether you find her attractive. Whether her joy lights up your day. Whether your children are the greatest gift, and you value where they came from. It all matters for one simple reason- she loves you. She sticks by all the nonsense, because in the end, she’s hoping for that man to love her enough, and give her what she needs- to be first in his life. Yes, there are some ladies that are like “dudes”. They’ll play your video games, drink your beer, laugh at not-so-lady-like jokes, but underneath, that “dude” girl, wants to know that she’s first to you. She still needs to feel like she’s number 1. She is not a man because she’s your companion cheerleader every sports game. She’s still a woman, who really could be doing anything else in the world to fill up her time, but she’s spending it enjoying your past time, because being with you, and seeing you happy is important to her, and makes her happy.

Want your lady to not be so needy, not nag you,respect you, admire you, value you? Get into your love mode, and do for her. Do for her, so she will happily do for you. She will unhappily do for you too, but it’s not nearly as fulfilling. If you can’t get into love mode, or when you do, you don’t feel that instinct to uphold your lady…you’re not in love with her. Black and white. I won’t say every man is the same, cause obv, they’re not. That excerpt came from Steve Harvey…who would have thought? And I won’t say “there are many fish in the sea”, cause every fish has an asshole, unless there’s some sub-species out there we don’t know about. But there’s someone for everyone, I guess is my point. Not saying you don’t care about your lady… you do care. And that’s ok- but she probably overly cares for you. Loves you. Someone someday, might overly care for her back, and then you’ll regret caring just enough. Layman’s term? If you love her, show her. It’s going to be work from your part, because women are different than men, but is it not worth it?